HARVARD: BARBARIANS AT THE GATES, IGNORAMUSES ON THE LAWN

The barbarians are coming.

They will soon be at the gates, bearing an ultimatum. Meet our demands or we will sequestrate your funds. Only they won’t use the word sequestrate They are uncomfortable with words of more than two syllables. Kiss our ass or we’ll break your balls is more how they’ll put it. This is called a deal. The barbarians think they are masters of the deal though they have never made a good one yet.

There is little chance the deal will be found acceptable. For these are the gates to Harvard University, the most conceited and condescending of all palaces of research, learning and, not infrequently, some would say, indoctrination. Impervious to criticism, Harvardians don’t take kindly to being told to kiss the asses of the unlettered. You would have thought the dealmakers would have known that. But their stupidity mistakes itself for shrewdness. The President himself doesn’t know the difference between a good deal and a good kicking, but that hasn’t stopped him writing a book on the subject. The book can be abstracted thus:

HOW TO MAKE A DEAL: Ask for more than you want and then accept less…

Let Harvard take a leaf out of Vladimir Putin’s book and do less than less and the Dealmaker President will construe it as a ‘beautiful victory.’ We made them do nothing, he will announce.

QUESTION: If a Harvard victory is the likeliest outcome, shouldn’t we be cheering?

ANSWER: No . . .