'I LOVE THE UNEDUCATED'

Donald Trump has signed an executive order designating English as the official language of the US.

Now he needs to find someone who can teach him how to speak it.

Ba-boom!

Forgive the joke. Nothing about Trump is funny any more. Funny belonged to the First Presidency. Quite possibly, nothing will be funny ever again.

In response to the Oval Office mugging of President Zelensky, a number of Republicans we might have hoped would know better spoke of the ‘pride’ they took in President Trump’s performance.

Pride!

So it isn’t only Trump who needs coaching in English. Who is going to tell Secretary of State Marco Rubio and Senator Lyndsey Graham that ‘pride’ is not the word for what you feel when you see someone big kick someone small and then throw him out into the street. Try ‘repugnance’, ‘abhorrence’, ‘loathing’. And if those words are too long, how about ‘yuk’?

So if funny doesn’t belong to the Second Presidency, what does? Since time is running out, let’s keep it simple. ‘Odium.’

I am not alone in thinking time is running out. Read Matthew Syed’s booming, oracular article in the Sunday Times today (March 2). And then read Edward Gibbon’s ‘The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire’. And after that, if the sun has not yet been extinguished, fall to your knees and read the Bible.